its 4th november and im still good with kamal. i realli wished we can stay longer and not be bothered by anything.. muack

its amazing how ppl claim that they r a true animal lover but when u put a lizard or rat infront of them, they starts screaming and tries to kill them..

human r such a fucked up n disgusting being dat im so ashamed to be one.

fuck myself

Being a cabin crew is an extremely easy job.

HOW BOUT THIS, THE JOB IS SOOO EASY UNTIL CREW START BEING BO LIAO AND MAKE LIFE SOOO FUCKED UP FOR THER CREWS TILL THEY COULDNT TAKE IT AND START RESIGNING.

i wan to leave not because im not coping. if u wan me to play plastic with u, il play with u.

but i dowant to play anymore childish games with u pple..

i had enough of ppl hu r too caught up in their own world n dare not change according to how the world is changing outside cos they r afraid.too persistent in preserving the CULTURE

i dont have to state examples cos ppl who r not in my line will never understand

i want to be screamed at over things ive done wrong, not things that i do right

i want to get out of this tube n face the world with courage. i want to change with how the world is changing

i want ppl who r smart telling me off

i need to work my brain

COS IM NOT PLASTIC AND IM NOT A ZOMBIE

and dat meansss......END OF BOND!!! whoohoo!!!


i guess ill be going back to school to study ACCA.. need to work my brain out after not fully utilising it for 18 months.. i cant wait!!

was thinking of leaving in december and go work part time in greenhouse and study at the same time..

i have 20 plus rats now..anyone wans it pplssss let me know..

realised i have alot of "friends" who cant seem to get where im coming from and how things should be..


just some random things i wan to highlight:

ppl walk into a petshop looking for a pet and came to find out that the living condition is poor n decided not to buy them : if ur a true animal lover, u will save the animal from all the misery by buying it.

sterilising pet to prevent them from breeding and being aggressive: this is just plain selfish on our (human) part

rats come from drain and they r dirty: not that they want to live in drains but they have to spend their whole life hiding..given that u have no house to live in and let out to roam in the street, wont u be dirty too ?

ask to keep a pet, and ppl start asking if they smell: which fuckin living thing wont smell when u never clean them..

tray drop from cart and a senior ask why like that: its either u help clean the mess or just shut the fuck up

drinks spill on passenger and senior ask why spill on passenger: cos i hate his face ?


i love animals cos they dont question and they dont expect. pure and innocent thats what they r. unlike humans. jus cos they dont voice out, that doesnt give us the right to throw them around and make them do things. they were the first one who came to this world, and the world was perfect without human. but look at them now, what have they done to deserve such treatment?

today i randomly search the web n randomly go into forums n saw random ppl posting their thots on why they wan to become air stewardess..

"making ppl happy is in my blood"
"cos of the free travel..i dont care what pple say about me"
"i love serving pple"
bla bla bla

i was sooooo like......fuck offf sluts... ..I..

have been playing l4d almost everyday like some loser.

im so gonna think of a cooler thing to say if my colleague ask what my hobby is..

going to botanic garden to feed the swans..catching caterpillars..playing with rats and l4d......how much more interesting can my life get..

but i got to admit.. L4D ROCKS CHEEBYE!!

its not like im saying my life sucks or wad.. but i donno why ppl like to think i have no life as to go botanic gardens n haf picnic n shit..

i think they r the ones who dont have a life!!!!

flowers trees animals..mmm mmm yum yum!!!


im so glad i have frens who like what i like!!! MUAHHH! AND I LOVE MY BF WHO BELIEVE AND LIKE WHATEVER I DOOOOOOO

i just don understand why ppl who kenna bullshit never seem to realise someone is bullshitting them. do they relli liked to be bullshit-ed or r they just oblivious to ppl bullshitting them.but isnt it very obvious to know if ure truly bullshitting or ur just trying to mean well for the other party..

life is so full of bullshitsss dat sometimes, u just wish u feed on bullshit.like literally.

its been six weeks since i post an entry to this blog..

was talking to some crew about how i used to keep caterpillars as pets and watch it turn into a beautiful butterfly..
what a childhood i have!!!

my mom's lime plant used to have lotsa butterflies visitng it n laying eggs..so the very CUTE me always go n pluck out the leaves that has butterfly eggs and put it in a tupperware to rear.
few days later, small puny caterpillars hatched n began munching the shit out of the leaves like there's no tmrooowww. day by day, they grew fatter n fatter..everyday, i have to pluck leaves from my mom's plant..thing is, the caterpillars r quite picky..thy onli ate fresh young leavess..i rmb my mom screaming at me for destroying her plant..but later forgave me when she saw the once disgusting brown caterpillar turn into a beautiful buttefly..

weeks after..they started building their cacoon n hibernate in it..
soon, a soaking wet butterfly emerged from the cacoon and took an hr or 2 to dry before it takes off n never came back..

since young, i had many contact with animals and i had lrnt from young to appreciate life n lrnt what life is all about.. i always feared death and losing someone dear to me.. i think alot when im young.. everynight before i sleep i will think about my parents having to die one day..n wuld cry myself to sleep..

till today, i cant seem to deal with deaths.. when i see my pets die.. i cant believe that the bluish and cold thing lying in the cage was once alive.. its seems like a two completely different thing..

k..its 151am and i blabbering nonsense..goodnite..

my rats r fucking irritating now.. everytime i put my hand into the cage to take their bowl to put food, they will jump n cling on to my finger..yepp...not my hands but my fucking finger!!! u may think its cute but they r fuck moroniccccc irritating. i feel so bad for flicking them off my finger but hu gives a fuck..they think its fun n they kp doing it again n again.

i donno wad to do wit 9 rats in my hse. i think i wan throw them at the faces i don like.

to six babies one month ago.

them at 2nd week..






and they r fucking rascals now...btw..anybody wan rats onot..im selling them away..no feeders allowed..show me that u can take gud care of em n ill sell it to u..

my new toy

munchkin!

i did nnot put him btwn my legs u perv!
new hair!
pls ignore the backgrounddddd





very adorable meeee a few mths agooo

i hate how u cannot be bothered.. or u maybe dats just u reacting to problems.. i hate it when i say dont mt n u said ok. i hate it when i put down the fone n u dont call back.n when i tell u about all the unhappy things, u said im just expecting u to do all dat..its not what i expect..but i always think its abnormal ure not doing it.i hate it when u can be on ur way to work playing ur psp n not take the time to sms me n when i ask why din u msg me, u said u forgot. i hate how u make complicated problems seemed so simple n start saying im overreacting.

to me, things will be better if u just care a little more. so what if u send me to n fro from work everday.. so wad if u kiss me n say u love me.. i don feel it there at all..

to you, u think that spending 24-7 wit me means u love me. every complicated problems i see, u just reduce it to a word 'im sorry' to make us move on. everything is simple to u n u feel dat im making a big fuss out of everything.

we've got so much to lrn..

happy 4 yrs anniversary..

my job has made me see lots of pple.. pple wif characters that i thot i will onli see on tv..
my job oso allow me to see how ppl change their views of me wen they know im a cabin crew.

i m so amazed n sometimes, amused at how ppl can behave in this job.. i hope they know that they r leading a very very sad life.. they cant seem to have the courage to face reality.. N I RELLY DONT HOPE TO BE LIKE THEM!

it is seriously not nice to go on a flight after u had a bad fight with ur bf....

have u girls got this feeling where u just feel so fucked up inside.. u just dont know what it is and u just feel like crying?

and when ur he asks u whats going on, u just cannot answer..

3 days ago i had a huge argument with him and we decided to take a break.. the break didnt last long..not even a day n we're back together becos i don wan regret leaving him over such minor things.. well..it might seemed minor on the surface...i tried my best to accept things as it is and move on..but i just cant..i keep telling myself dat i have to..i can be happy one moment.. n break down into tears another moment.. i just dont know why..i feel so frustrated with myself..

i just dowan to look like a damsel in distress..i don wan to be a attention seeker.. but i guess i am.. meet me everyday..stay over my place so dat the first thing we see is each other when we wake up..fetching me to n fro airport..spending time with me almost every second.. what more can i ask for? just when u thought ur relationship is perfect, ur hope came crashing down when u found out something nasty.. it just hurt so badly dat u want to die..

maybe he is just sick of me.. i dont know.. its jst so unbelievable for me to think of such thing..so ridiculous..

im so messed up inside..

i was on my way to work and at jurong east when i saw this old man carrying this handicapped lady who was probably his daughter or sister..she was about my size..or slightly bigger.. they entered the train and immediately someone gave up his seat to him. the man gently placed the lady down while he stand infront of her..making sure she's ok.. another person offered a seat for him. he politely rejected again n again but the lady who offered the seat insisted he sit down.he sat down beside his handicapped daughter and wiped her perspire with his hankerchief.. my eye teared.. i dont know why and i couldnt help it..

i was in the train.all the way to tanah merah.. i thought he gon alight very soon thats why he rejected the lady's offer..but he was going all the way to the other end of sg.

during the ride, he kept looking at her making sure she's ok.. wiping her sweat with his hankerchief.. when she fell asleep, he placed his hands behind her head..not wanting her to hit her head on the glass panel.

every commuters that enter the train kept scrutinising her..staring and staring...

i didnt felt comfortable at all and i relli felt like screaming at them..
this filipino family came in the train and occupied the whole row of seat opposit them..the children pointed at the lady and started whispering to their mother...the mother herself kept staring at the handicapped lady with a disgusted look on her face..

another family enter the train, this time, a mother n two children.. there was an empty seat beside the handicapped lady... this time, the mother ask the kids if they wan to sit..bbut both of them looked at the handicapped lady and none of them wanted to sit beside her..they chose to sit faraway from her..

i really hate to say this but..sometimes i feel so ashamed n disgusted with man..

so much for one train ride..

till now.. i dont even know what i wan to after my bond...continue this job all my life or do smthing else..
many pple says im stil very young and shouldnt just work in MI for too long..should go out n see the world n experience other jobs..

working life is sooo mundannneeeee... wakeup, go to work, come home, eat, sleep...im missing out soo much man.. i really dowan to spend my life just doing dat.. i want to live my life to fullest... but howwwww.?? always after work u feel sooo tired to even think of doing anithing..how lidat... u al tell me howww

my blogskin is so boring..see alr oso no mood to blog..

this is the last time im gon say this...silkair onli does turnaround flight..so no alighting of plane once we reach our destination.. so stop saying that i get to travel all over the world. THANK YOU.

flyin is such a time-wasting n yet tired job..
life is sooo borring!!! i cant wait for my probation to end!!! ahh!! i wan go holiday!!!

i m so laaazy to blog these days...its soooo boringggg....i got nothing to blog.. how???

i believe in retribution.. do u?